Beach FairyNonna
I am going to put my very stern voice on now. All I can say is that I am very disappointed by you – and in you!!
What on earth were you doing going off and getting married again? No wonder Persephone is at her wits end with you. And another thing, you have been there now for six months don’t you think it’s a little rude and you should be moving on? I mean, its not like you have no where else to go and even by your own admission, you are best on your own at certain times in your life and this, Sweetie, is one of those times!
Pack. Leave. Now.
I’m at Hugo’s currently. Your letter took a while to find its way to me, but everyone was very kind and kept forwarding it on. It’s a wonder the final postman managed to read this current abode with all of the “please forward to……” but they were. I have enjoyed my time with Hugo, and it’s been great catching up and having some decent food inside of me. Miriam is a dammed fine cook you know. I’ve probably gain a fair few stones. The trousers hug my waist currently. Must sort that!
I look at Hugo sometimes and he reminds me of his old Lab. He is inclined to run to fat a little, just like his Labrador. I don’t know why. Its lack of exercise of course; good cooking and far too much wine at very odd hours of the day. He does occasionally take his bike out when he wants some exercise, but the lycra cycling shorts he favours makes him look like a bit of meat from a “boil in the bag recipe!” Don’t these people ever check the mirror before leaving?
The other thing which seems a bit queer is that they have had all the grass taken up and replaced it with fake grass. You know that plastic stuff which Spanish golf courses seem very fond of. At one point when he said come and see the fake grass, I mis head him and thought he said “foie gras” which of course I was up for as I haven’t eaten foie gras since Rodgers wedding (and we all know how that ended up)
But in any event, he said fake grass and I was disappointed on both counts.
Its frightfully infra dig and when it gets warm its inclined to be slippery and rather hot underfoot. You may recall, (well, I am sure you do,) I have very soft soles on my feet and the grass has caused quite painful friction burns on them if I venture out in the midday sun. I did try wearing a soft shoe but have since found out that I should not wear anything with a smooth base, as I am likely to come a cropper and that’s before a couple of Hugo’s Gin Slings. I am learning my lessons and skirting around it as much as I can, even if on some occasions I must walk through the rose patch and end up with more scratches on my legs than I might in an Egyptian brothel. (Oh, those were the days, eh Nonnie? Those were MOST certainly the days.)
The neighbours here are also rather odd. The woman two doors down has been out most mornings with a tape measure and some bloke measuring the distance from the waters edge to her house. He stands at a specific place each day and holds one end, whilst she holds the other. She got herself in a tizzy yesterday because she said the sea was making its way to their house and maybe they would be swept away. To all the assembled crowd on the beach, enjoying the mid-day sun, she imparted this information like someone starring in a Greek Tragedy. Her eyes were bulging, and her voice was carried away on the wind, so she had to keep repeating herself. Onlookers laughed. Most unkind really. It was all good dramatics though and best of all, not one of us had the nerve to tell her that the sea ebbing and flowing was quite natural on account of the High and Low Tides.
Such fun really. Poor Sport. But fun, nevertheless….
The other thing, which is very weird, but I am currently ignoring it, as best I can, is that Fiona went out one day looking like, well, Fiona, and returned three days later looking like someone who had just entered the earth’s atmosphere – her face was very odd looking! All tight and pushed back. (Whisper it quietly, yes, I am guessing it’s one of those face lifts she is rather fond of) I haven’t said a word yet, but I wonder how much longer I can go on ignoring it.
Anyway Nonnie, I am off to Hydra for the summer – Dorkas has kindly extended an invitation for the whole of August. As you may recall, “Dorkas was always very willing”.
Nonnie – come join us. Be just like the old days?
Beach Fairy
